Eucalyptus is $9.99 book reading app that was rejected by Apple because you could search for objectionable content.

I suspect that no-one at Apple knows how genuinely torturous the app store approval process is for developers personally after a rejection. When they hold the key to the only distribution pipe for something you’ve spent a lot of your time on – in my case a year – something you’re hoping could provide you with a livelihood – and polite email enquiries are not replied to – not even with an autoresponder, it is extremely frustrating. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as powerless in my life (and I’ve had to deal with US immigration authorities…).

I suspect quite a few people at Apple know what a nightmare the App Store approval process is, but I doubt a single one of them is in a position to do anything about it. Apple Inc. is no more likely to publicly acknowledge a problem than the Catholic church, and the App Store approval process is Apple's abortion is sure to be a sensitive topic.

When the basis of approval is subjective, you need talented, intelligent and rational people making decisions and passing jdugement. Good luck finding that combination in someone who is willing to earn $30k/year to run iPhone apps all day searching for boob pictures or profanity.

Objectionable Content

For your enjoyment, here are a few of the titillating terms that Apple objected to. I've no doubt that by posting this text my site will be masturbation fodder for teens everywhere.

• Auparishtaka or mouth congress – Another way of saying fellatio, but I can see how the term mouth congress is totally hot.
• Lingam – Penis. It's about time someone came up with a non-scientific way to refer to the male genitalia.
• Yoni – Vaginia – definitely the most offensive 4-letter word you can use to describe one.

Fill in the Blanks

Sometimes it's what is left out that counts. See if you can guess what the missing words are.

Assets

I've removed three words from the following paragraph.

The qualities of good ______(1.1) are that they should be bright, well set, clean, entire, convex, soft, and ______(1.2) in appearance. ______(1.1) are of three kinds according to their size:

Small
Middling
Large

Large ______(1.1), which give grace to the ______(1.3), and attract the hearts of women from their appearance, are possessed by the Bengalees.

Good Qualities

5 words this time, have at it.

The qualities of good ______(2.1) are as follows: They should be equal, possessed of a pleasing brightness, capable of being ______(2.2), of proper proportions, ______(2.3), and with ______(2.4) ends.

The defects of ______(2.1) on the other hand are that they are blunt, protruding from the ______(2.5), rough, soft, large, and loosely set.

There you have it. Smut! Pornography! It's obvious that this needs to be kept out of the hands of young children, so they can safely peruse Google Images with their morality intact.
a

 

 

 

 

 

Answers

Fill in the blanks or use your imagination.
Assets
1.1: nails
1.2: glossy
1.3: hands

Good Qualities
2.1: teeth
2.2: coloured
2.3: unbroken
2.4: sharp
2.5: gums

 

Tags: App Store, Apple, iPhone

Posted on Friday, May 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 am | Filed under Development, iPhone, Software, Technology
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